We can't rewind we've gone to far
Pictures came and broke your heart
Put the blame on VTR
First off, some new videos of little ol' me. I FINALLY got the DVD of my set from Comix when I opened for Jennifer Coolidge on July 25, 2010. Even more exciting: I figured out how to rip and upload the video from it all by myself!
Why, in this day and age, it is still so difficult to do this boggles (and buggles) the mind. If I can plug my Flip Camera into my computer and have the video instantly upload with the click of a mouse, why the hell can't I do the same thing with a DVD? In the interest of public service, I hereby direct you to this link if, like I was, you are struggling to rip video from a DVD onto a Mac. (If you've got a PC, you're on your own.) I went straight to "Part II: How to import NON-Commercial DVD into iMovie," but there are also instructions on how to copy/bootleg a commercial release, if such a thing interests you.
Anyway, it worked. A warning, though: Don't try this unless you have a few hours of free time to work on it, especially if you also plan to upload the video to YouTube.
Here, without further Mountain Dew, is the set. It's in two parts. (And if you've seen me perform anytime in the last few years, you've probably seen most of this material before. What can I say: I'm not gonna do new material in front of a sold-out club crowd opening for a movie star.)
Coming soon: A video of my set at "Stripped Stories" from July 14, 2010 -- all of which contains BRAND NEW, NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN MATERIAL. (Unless you were at that show, of course. Or at the "Stripped Stories" I did back in 2008.)
After a busy and unspeakably hot summer, I find myself with a lot of down time lately which, combined with the cooler weather, is making me nostalgic, romantic, hopeful and a little sad all at the same time. I think I'm ready for a boyfriend again, but I'm not meeting anyone with whom I feel remotely compatible. In truth, I'm not meeting much of anyone. Where do people meet nowadays anyway? When I was younger, I thought nothing of going out to a bar by myself and just walking up to someone. I could NEVER do that now. I can't even imagine going to a bar by myself. What happens these days is, I go out and meet friends, and we stand around in a huddle all night, talking to one another and ignoring (and being ignored by) everyone else.
I don't care what Oprah says; getting older sucks. Last night I plucked three white hairs from my head. Not grey -- white. I don't mind the color -- I find some silver-haired guys really sexy. But the texture of these white hairs is beyond nasty. They stick straight out from my head like jagged bits of fishing line, and no amount of gel will tame them. I'm told the only real remedy for this is to dye one's hair. If I do, any color suggestions from the Peanut Gallery? I think I'm too old to pull off the platinum blond anymore...
What Ever Happened to Baby Bam-Bam?
With my new-found down time, I've been re-watching a lot of old movies and YouTube clips. Came across a 1988 video of Freddie Mercury performing "Barcelona" live at an outdoor concert in that city with opera singer Montserrat Cabballé. It gave me chills. Although I must say, I'm sure Montserrat is a great opera singer, but she's no match for Freddie.
Unable to get to sleep Saturday night, I watched "My Bodyguard" (1980) on Netflix. Not to be confused with "The Bodyguard" (1992), which is a steaming pile of filmic plop, "My Bodyguard" stars Chris Makepeace as a sweet-but-nerdy high school freshman who is mercilessly bullied at the hands of Matt Dillon (already delicious at 16). Fed up, Makepeace hires the scary, troubled outcast that everyone, including Matt Dillon's character, is frightened of, to be his bodyguard.
Is it wrong for me to lust after a 16-year-old, even if he was older than me at the time and still is?
"My Bodyguard" was one of those movies I watched as a child dozens of times on HBO but hadn't seen in decades. I always loved it, in part because Makepeace looked a lot like my friend Mike Bultman, at least to me. (Mike, email me a photo of you as a young teenager so I can do a side-by-side comparison here.) And it goes without saying that I identified with that character, especially during my traumatic Newark Academy years. Basically, "My Bodyguard" is the ultimate revenge fantasy for any kid who ever felt victimized in school. Which is to say, most of us.
I'm happy to report that "My Bodyguard" has stood the test of time. It's as sweet and quirky as I remembered. The teenage actors are great -- look for two supporting roles I had completely forgotten about played by a very young-looking Joan Cusack (!) and a hilariously adenoidal kid named Paul Quandt, who never made another film. Makepeace is completely authentic, just as he had been in "Meatballs" the year before. (Why his career dissolved is a mystery to me.) Matt Dillon plays a terrific and non-stereotypical bully; even when he's terrorizing a weaker kid, you can see he's masking his own scrawny insecurity. And Adam Baldwin, as the titular bodyguard, exudes a deeply sexy, dangerous aura throughout. When he finally smiles, it's like the sun coming out of the mist.
After some research, I was shocked to learn that aside from Dillon, Baldwin -- no relation to the famous brothers -- has had the most successful career in Hollywood of any of "Bodyguard's" teens. He's made dozens of movies and TV shows including NBC's "Chuck," in which he plays John Casey. I would never have recognized him as the same person.
Adam Baldwin then...
My only real complaints about "My Bodyguard," actually, pertain to its adult characters and the actors who play them. Martin Mull is useless, doing his usual wacky, befuddled Martin Mull thing as Makepeace's single hotel-manager father. Ruth Gordon practically inhales scenery as the boozy, sexually inappropriate grandmother (essentially a cheap retread of her "Harold and Maude" character). And someone named Kathryn Grody plays a hippie teacher whose sole raison d'être seems to be revealing highly personal information about Baldwin's character to Makepeace that should have gotten her fired. None of these people adds a thing to the movie. (The venerable John Houseman also makes a cameo, but I confess I must have dozed through his scenes. I have no idea what he's doing in the film.)
All right, I've rambled on far too long and must get some work done. Don't forget to get your tickets now to see me in my off-Broadway debut next week, hosting a fabulous new scene competition called "Scene It!"
Thursday, September 23rd at 7:30pmJerry Orbach Theater
Snapple Theater Center
210 West 50th Street
New York, NY 10018
Click here for Tickets.
Homo on film. ♥
P.S. Just realized my main topic of this post was to have been the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards, and I didn't mention a thing about them. Oh well. They pretty much sucked anyway.