Enter Rhoda (Part 4)

I decided to look for my new car in Lemon Grove, just east of Downtown San Diego. You needn't point out the irony in car-shopping in a place called Lemon Grove, though I'm ashamed to admit, it took a few hours for the joke to hit me. Needless to say, I saw neither lemons nor groves in Lemon Grove -- only dry, brown brush sizzling under the oppressively hot sun. (For the uninitiated among you, the temperature soars as soon as you step one toe outside of San Diego proper. It's like walking onto the sun.)

But Lemon Grove is home to both a certified Honda dealership and a Toyota one, so I could kill multiple stones in one trip.

After doing extensive research online, I had narrowed my search to three of the highest rated subcompacts: The Toyta Yaris, the Nissan Versa and the Honda Fit. Of these, the Fit was definitely my top choice. US News and World Report ranked it first among its list of affordable small cars (though I differ with USNWR in my interpretation of the word "affordable"). Though the Versa scored lower, at No. 13, and the Yaris way down at No. 30, all three were incredibly fuel efficient, dependable, safe, Japanese cuties.

But the Fit was by far the coolest looking.

"You know you want me."

So my first stop was the mysteriously named DCH Honda of Lemon Grove. (What could DCH stand for, I wondered. Devil Cars in Hell? Dog Cat Hamster? Don't Come Here?) I had seen on Craig's List that DCH was selling a lightly used '08 Fit, in what Honda gaily calls "Vivid Blue Pearl." It was stunning and drove like a dream. But there were issues, chief among them price -- that which they were asking for the Fit, and that which they were offering for Carmen.

After hours of stalling and haggling and "let me talk to my manager again" and all the usual car-buying bullshit which, by the way, Congress should fucking outlaw, the best they could offer me was $15,500 out the door, trade-in included. It was simply too rich for my blood. Plus it was a total rip-off, given that a new Honda Fit starts at $16,200

When the Honda people realized they truly weren't going to get me to budge on the Fit, they began showing me older, shittier, non-compact, non-Japanese cars. It was when they led me over to an '04 Passat that I lost it. "Why would I... WHY WOULD I...," I demanded, sounding like Shirley MacLaine in "Terms of Endearment," "WANT TO BUY ANOTHER GODDAMNED VOLKSWAGEN PASSAT?!?!"

Coincidentally, I was wearing the same dress.

I left DCH Honda in a sweaty huff, never to return again.

Next stop on the Lemon Grove Express: Bob Baker Toyota.

To be continued. Sorry these entries are so short... The writing is coming very slowly right now.

Homo unFit. ♥

P.S. A bunch of comedy performances coming up here in San Diego. Please check out my web site at www.adamsank.com.