Pictures! We've Got Pictures!

I know I'm overdue for a real, honest-to-goodness blog post -- complete with wry, witty anecdotes and dry, pithy observations -- rather than just a random collage of photos and video clips, but the truth is, I'm sort of feeling like none of you deserve it. I worked damn hard on that Dame Edna story, and a whopping four of you were moved to comment. Only two of you commented on my first video clip, and then none of you --ZERO -- left a comment on my hilarious Vagisil clip!! WTF!

In contrast, I posted that clip to my Facebook page and received feedback from seven people and counting.

So why work so hard for you ungrateful shits if you're not going to show me a little love in return? (And don't give me this, "I don't know how to leave comments," Sarah Humphries, because that's just retarded. Ask someone who's ever used a computer before to show you how.)


What most of you obviously fail to understand is that I am an incredibly needy, neurotic person who fears he will disappear from the earth if I am not paid constant attention. In other words, a comic. So if you enjoy this little exercise I call Sanktastic and would like to see it continue, take 30 seconds out of your day and leave me a comment. Nuff said.

In the meantime, a few things that have caught me eye recently, and then some new pics:

David Letterman hilariously trashed the Palins on his show Tuesday night, and predictably the Alaskan governor and her family are now pretending to be shocked and offended, which is what right-wing Republicans do best. Among the other jokes on his Top 10 list, "Highlights of Sarah Palin's trip to New York," Letterman said:

"[Palin] bought makeup at Bloomingdale's to update her slutty flight attendant look."

He also made several jokes about Bristol Palin, including the following:

"One awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game. During the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez."

Of course, the Palins are pretending Letterman was referring to 14-year-old daughter Willow, who actually accompanied the governor on her trip (as opposed to Bristol), and accusing Letterman of advocating child rape. Come on.

So Letterman took up a nice long chunk of his show last night to defend himself (while simultaneously offering a lukewarm apology). It's kind of fascinating television, and because I love Letterman and loathe the Palins (who I feel typify everything wrong with this country), I link it here. Enjoy.



Fun stuff, right?

In other news, a Fox News writer is (perhaps) in hot water after (allegedly) ramming a Central Park cyclist with his car... intentionally. The writer in question is one Don Broderick with whom I had the displeasure of working for my entire six-year tenure at FNC. Don was always a loose cannon -- totally chill one moment and then exploding with rage the next. He was verbally abusive to the production assistants and totally disrespectful to his senior producers . Toward the end, I sometimes had to serve as one of these and can remember one memorable occasion when he began screaming at me at the top of his lungs in the control room during a live broadcast because I told him we wouldn't have time for one of his stories.

I complained about him to management a number of times because I honestly felt he was capable of physical violence. In typical fashion, the higher-ups did nothing, and Broderick has remained there for more than 10 years. There's no real point to my mentioning this here and now except to say... the whole thing kind of tickles me. I hope he goes to prison.



The root of all evil.

Finally, Chastity Bono has decided to become a man. Given her mother's iconic status, there are a lot of jokes that could be made about this, and some of them will probably be made by me at some point. But the truth is, there's nothing really funny about the struggles of transgender folks. The social pressures for them are like the ones for gay men and lesbians... times 100. I wish Chastity -- or "Chaz" as she is now called -- well.

And I hope they build her a nice thick Bono. (OK, I couldn't resist one.)


And now, some photos of me hosting from last week taken by Sarge, a Dirtbag regular. I post them here mainly because Sarge is a good photographer. And also because I think the outfit I wore that night was strangely flattering and gave me a deceptively large package and biceps. It may become my standard on-stage costume.
















Homo packaged. ♥

P.S. I have a number of gigs coming up -- three in San Diego and one in NYC. Details follow, and check my web site for details!

Saturday, June 13th at 8:30pm
Dirtbag Comedy Night
1135 Garnet Avenue
San Diego, CA
http://dirtbagclothing.com/
(No alcohol served here, so make sure you get good and drunk beforehand. See attached photo.)

Monday, June 15th at 9:00pm
Jason Bang's Comics That Kill at Club Riley's
2901 Nimitz Blvd
Point Loma, CA
http://www.jasonfreakinbang.com/
(Lots of alcohol served here, and I'm going up first, so don't be late! And make sure you tell 'em at the door you're there to see me! Me! Me! It's all about ME!)

Monday, June 15th at 9:30pm
Cock & Balls Comedy Tour at Island Sports & Spirits
104 Orange Avenue
Coronado, CA
http://www.myspace.com/islandsportsandspirits
(My first time at this venue, along with the Dirtbag boys.)

Sunday, June 28th at 10:00pm
Brad Loekle's Electro Shock Therapy Comedy Hour
348 West 52nd Street
New York, NY
No Cover Charge, No Drink Minimum.
http://www.therapy-nyc.com/
(A Gay Pride special event, with awesome headliner Karith Foster and $6 cosmos all night!).