Headlining the Dirtbag: A Photo-Blog

But first, a few random observations:

My second-favorite reality show, "So You Think You Can Dance," has returned for its fifth season. As I've mentioned previously in this space, there are many things to love about this show, and this season is no exception. With one exception. And I pose it as question: What the hell has happened to Tyce D'Orio?

For the heterosexual among you, Tyce is a young choreographer who in past seasons put together snappy little Broadway-style routines for the show. They weren't the best routines -- those would be the ones choreographed by Mia Michaels -- but they were fine. And Tyce himself always seemed like a genial enough fellow.



(Or as my friend George and I refer to it, "So You Think You Can Mince."

That is until this season when Tyce sat in with judges Nigel Lythgoe and the always annoying (but knowledgeable) Mary Murphy for the Miami auditions. Whereas in the past Tyce sort of blended into the scenery, this season the producers apparently instructed him: "We want you to act like a flaming asshole." Which would be fine, if he were a funny flaming asshole or an interesting flaming asshole, or even a flaming asshole with something to say. But he was none of those things. Instead he just ranted on and on at the hapless contestants in this weird character voice -- a sort of Chicago gangster meets Chelsea queen -- saying things like, "What what what what what... I mean seriously, what? I mean, like... I mean, what what what what...?!"

I watched this in horror, praying it would stop. But it didn't. At one point, the show actually featured a Tyce-As-Flaming-Asshole Montage!

The moral here is, a good choreographer does not necessarily a good judge make. And obnoxious behavior is not in and of itself entertaining. Off with you, Mr. D'Orio, until you learn how to be a better judge. You could take a lesson from Miss Debbie Allen. (And when will they bring her back?!)

(Interestingly, I just scoured the Internet in search of a video clip or even a photo of Tyce D'Orio. There are none. Weird.)

One more word on reality TV: Last night I caught a few moments of NBC's new installment of "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here," which is like "Survivor" meets "Surreal Life" on crack. And "surreal" is the only word that adequately describes the experience of watching Patti Blagojevich defend her corrupt husband to the likes of Janice Dickinson and Heidi and Spencer from "The Hills (and then watching Heidi pray to Jesus on the Governor's behalf).

But then Lou Diamond Phillips popped up on the screen, and I got really sad. One has to think that when Lou was starring in "La Bamba" and "Young Guns," he could never have fathomed that one day he'd be on TV competing in a bug-eating competition with someone named Sanjaya.


Pobrecito.

And, now, without further doo-doo, the photos:

Dirtbag Comedy Show, Pacific Beach, May 30, 2009.



My never-before-photographed pre-show tub soak.
Trust me when I tell you this was the most tasteful version BW took.



My dear friends Jim & Erik, who met me beforehand for dinner at World Curry (where the Teryaki chicken is out of this world).
Jim & Erik are historic figures in that theirs is one of the 18,000 gay marriages still recognized by the state of California.
Also, they like beer.



Psych! Like I would ever eat a plate full of white rice.



Our adorable, unsuspecting waiter.
"You're my first lefty," he said smiling, after I signed my Visa bill.
My mind reeled with possible retorts.



On the way to the Dirtbag; possibly the worst name for a taco stand EVER.



All the Hillcrest boys who came to watch me perform:
Andrzej, Keith, Erik, Jim & Stephen.
Andrzej needs to buy a vowel.



The beautiful and talented Larry "Fiduce" Fiduce, Dirtbag star, known for his catchphrase, "Cock and balls."
Also for his fine, fine bod.
You can't tell, but I'm trembling beside him.


Another hilarious Dirtbag regular, pint-sized bodybuilder Mike Wentz.



Rob Stuppy gets violated by Chris Meza.
This is what happens when you tell two straight-boy comics that they're being photographed for a gay blog.


The incredibly cool Jared "Doc" Egan.
He makes all of this possible.



MC Fiduce rocks the (typically full) house.


Me on-stage! Doing some actual new material!
I think someone videotaped my set, so I'll post clips when they become available.



My Heidi Klum bit. Yes, I'm still doing it.




Imitating a drunken girl in the crowd.
I should really never make this face again.




Curtain call, baby!


I'm so happy to have found these guys and this place. I'll be hosting the show this Saturday, June 6.



Homo photographed. ♥